tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34570910787192644872024-03-13T14:59:02.947-04:00Crazy Shit My Boyfriend SaysCrazy Shit My Boyfriend SaysRob Clayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13472641701380565352noreply@blogger.comBlogger578125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-65458771951995442312013-04-19T20:07:00.002-04:002013-04-19T20:07:34.857-04:00On People Who Don't Want To Handle Live Lobsters<b>Boyfriend:</b> Dude, get over it. All of your food has been alive. Even your Cheetos. <i>Especially your Cheetos.</i>Rob Clayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13472641701380565352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-2079448295419315142012-10-17T18:47:00.001-04:002012-10-17T18:47:53.484-04:00Overheard from AngeliqueDaemon on her way home:<b>Girlfriend: </b>There's nothing to do in an airport bar.<br />
<b>Boyfriend:</b> Nothing you'd want to do, anyway. All you can really do is pick up Airport Bar Skanks, which are the lowest form of Bar Skanks besides your mom.Rob Clayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13472641701380565352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-61525456729847762882012-08-31T13:48:00.002-04:002012-08-31T13:48:25.628-04:00I DON'T think that's how it works..<b>Me: </b>*looking at teeth in a little mirror*<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>Don't worry, it'll fall out soon.<br />
<b>Me: </b>*confused blink*<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>Your tongue.<br />
<b>Me: </b>O_O<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>Then you'll grow your ADULT tongue! ^^Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-50783929548893878802012-08-17T19:08:00.001-04:002012-08-17T19:08:05.830-04:00He... does?<b>Boyfriend: </b>Bitch please! I make my <b>own</b> horsey noises!Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-18410604877226898292012-08-07T22:19:00.000-04:002012-08-07T22:19:29.609-04:00I disagree...<b>Me: </b>That's not technically cursive.<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>Your letters are connected! That means they're FANCY!Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-77240978846806066442012-07-27T21:51:00.001-04:002012-07-27T21:51:15.663-04:00I don't think they bleat...<b>Me: </b>I'm hungry... but I'm lazy...<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>Quick! Start bleating like an elk! Maybe one will come feed you!<br />
<b>Me:</b> ... WHAT?!Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-90477576493973474192012-06-18T15:04:00.001-04:002012-06-18T15:04:46.219-04:00... What?<b>Boyfriend's brother: </b>Fuck you and your fancy koala money.<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>I LIKE fancy koala money, because it's plastic!<br />
<b>Boyfriend's brother: </b>Well that IS fancy.<br />
<b>Boyfriend's father: </b>You gotta watch koala's, because they have poisonous barbs on the ends of their tails.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-74075139155796597372012-05-19T23:22:00.003-04:002012-05-19T23:22:28.226-04:00You have to ASK?!<b>Boyfriend: </b>So I guess any plan of mine that starts with 'First we sharpen the spatula' is vetoed, huh?Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-22932106114811885662012-05-05T00:06:00.002-04:002012-05-05T00:06:25.103-04:00Mangnish Weekend - The return of the wise man<b>Boyfriend:</b> Like a wise man once said, "Mi cabeza esta una puntana."<br /><b>Me:</b> ... Because he confused his Spanish and Italian?<br /><b>Boyfriend:</b> Yes.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-18809183684522043592012-04-29T11:53:00.003-04:002012-04-29T11:53:47.554-04:00Does that make me Ansem?<b>Me:</b> It's dark out! I don't need a hat!<br /><b>Boyfriend's brother: </b>The DARKNESS is your hat!<br />Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-34543229443094544642012-04-28T06:51:00.001-04:002012-04-28T06:51:54.477-04:00It's.... true...?<b>Me: </b>*talking about a Lolth papercraft* She looks so PLEASED too.<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>It's because she knows she's got junk in trunk.<br />
<b>Me: </b>*stares*<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>It's full of eggs...Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-9683532142882956642012-04-25T18:57:00.001-04:002012-04-25T18:57:25.236-04:00So does it turn into noodle-spawn?Boyfriend: I can't even eat something that's TOUCHED cold noodles! It's noodle-tainted!Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-75675881643427935162012-04-23T12:04:00.001-04:002012-04-23T12:04:13.270-04:00That's NOT what that means!<b>Me:</b> Polynomial!<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>That's a gnome that goes either way.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-48694040506282145192012-04-22T05:25:00.005-04:002012-04-22T05:25:47.170-04:00He never did, mind you<b>Me: </b>When did we get old, baby?<br /><b>Boyfriend:</b> We're not old, we're just frugal.<br /><b>Me:</b> .... What? That doesn't... Explain what that even means!<br /><b>Boyfriend:</b> ...<br /><b>Me:</b> You can't, can you?<br /><b>Boyfriend:</b> I can! Just... give me a minute...Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-1943254121990367952012-04-20T23:08:00.003-04:002012-04-20T23:08:56.653-04:00I knew what he meant...<b>Me: </b>*at the end of the KH3D trailer* It says March 2012! It's April!<br />
<b>Boyfriend's brother: </b>It's March in Japan... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!<br />
<b>Me:</b> That's a HELL of a time difference.<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>That international dateline is a BITCH!Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-14279834602005643492012-04-19T11:41:00.000-04:002012-04-19T11:42:19.413-04:00This... doesn't really follow, does it?Me: Why do you have to destroy my dreams!?<br />Boyfriend: Because I destroyed the coconut's dreams... of being a horse.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-72950531425620903322012-04-16T16:30:00.000-04:002012-04-16T16:31:20.153-04:00I don't know what he is anymore...<span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> *to bf's brother* You're a scholar and a gentleman.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>I'm a squid and a jungle gym!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>You sure are...Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-51330145402148768412012-04-15T09:03:00.001-04:002012-04-15T09:05:31.767-04:00Wait a minute...<span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>Does my hair look stupid? *shows off short, braided pigtails*<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>You look SO German right now... like you should be walking through the Alps, holding mugs of hot chocolate.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>... That's Swiss.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>Whatever, Germans have chocolate too.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>... The Alps aren't even IN Germany!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>Well they WOULD have been, if Germany had won the war...Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-27428449806871511272012-03-19T19:20:00.000-04:002012-03-19T19:20:32.778-04:00...Bortening?<b>Boyfriend: </b>This spread is a combination of shortening and butter.<br />
<b>Boyfriend's brother: </b>Shutter!<br />
<b>Boyfriend: </b>Beep!<br />
<b>Boyfriend's brother: </b>...no, that'd be a combination of butter and sheep.Rob Clayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13472641701380565352noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-32853798214533384452012-03-17T08:25:00.000-04:002012-03-17T08:26:06.481-04:00Sometimes we don't see eye to eye...<span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend:</span> I should have killed you.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> What?!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend:</span> I said I love you.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> No you didn't! You said you should have killed me! Not only do you want me dead, you're lying to me! *sniff* I don't know what's worse!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>But that's what love is! What did YOU think it was?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> Being honest and NOT wanting someone dead!<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>... Yeah, I can see how that would work too.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-9237722124264540452012-03-15T16:10:00.002-04:002012-03-15T16:11:02.101-04:00... Wat?Boyfriend: I prefer to think of the Australian accent as the coccyx, it's just a remnant of evolution that will eventually disappear. I mean Australia IS where all the evolution happens.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-42590990650693619582012-03-13T09:45:00.001-04:002012-03-13T09:46:59.807-04:00I'm crazy too, you know...<span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>*hugging me* Who's my little dingo?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>Do I get to eat babies?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>Sure.<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span>YAY! I'm your little dingo~!Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-69883666830922833472012-03-12T01:20:00.000-04:002012-03-12T01:21:00.343-04:00She IS weird...<span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>You know what else is weird? Your MOM! Her existence is weird... because a black hole isn't supposed to have a mass.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-88135496603238267432012-03-11T21:00:00.000-04:002012-03-11T21:01:39.695-04:00I'm sure there's more than that...<span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend: </span>It's Colorado! All that's there is skis and snow! They don't even have HOUSES, it's just piled up skies!Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3457091078719264487.post-51860221621730580932012-03-10T07:15:00.000-05:002012-03-10T07:16:17.770-05:00Pretty sure that's not how it goes...<span style="font-weight: bold;">Boyfriend:</span> *singing* As I went down to the river to pray, studying about your mom's a whore.Angelique Daemonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16674768975289592679noreply@blogger.com0