You have to ASK?!

Boyfriend: So I guess any plan of mine that starts with 'First we sharpen the spatula' is vetoed, huh?

Mangnish Weekend - The return of the wise man

Boyfriend: Like a wise man once said, "Mi cabeza esta una puntana."
Me: ... Because he confused his Spanish and Italian?
Boyfriend: Yes.

Does that make me Ansem?

Me: It's dark out! I don't need a hat!
Boyfriend's brother: The DARKNESS is your hat!

It's.... true...?

Me: *talking about a Lolth papercraft* She looks so PLEASED too.
Boyfriend: It's because she knows she's got junk in trunk.
Me: *stares*
Boyfriend: It's full of eggs...

So does it turn into noodle-spawn?

Boyfriend: I can't even eat something that's TOUCHED cold noodles! It's noodle-tainted!

That's NOT what that means!

Me: Polynomial!
Boyfriend: That's a gnome that goes either way.

He never did, mind you

Me: When did we get old, baby?
Boyfriend: We're not old, we're just frugal.
Me: .... What? That doesn't... Explain what that even means!
Boyfriend: ...
Me: You can't, can you?
Boyfriend: I can! Just... give me a minute...