I don't think they bleat...

Me: I'm hungry... but I'm lazy...
Boyfriend: Quick! Start bleating like an elk! Maybe one will come feed you!
Me: ... WHAT?!

... What?

Boyfriend's brother: Fuck you and your fancy koala money.
Boyfriend: I LIKE fancy koala money, because it's plastic!
Boyfriend's brother: Well that IS fancy.
Boyfriend's father: You gotta watch koala's, because they have poisonous barbs on the ends of their tails.

You have to ASK?!

Boyfriend: So I guess any plan of mine that starts with 'First we sharpen the spatula' is vetoed, huh?

Mangnish Weekend - The return of the wise man

Boyfriend: Like a wise man once said, "Mi cabeza esta una puntana."
Me: ... Because he confused his Spanish and Italian?
Boyfriend: Yes.

Does that make me Ansem?

Me: It's dark out! I don't need a hat!
Boyfriend's brother: The DARKNESS is your hat!

It's.... true...?

Me: *talking about a Lolth papercraft* She looks so PLEASED too.
Boyfriend: It's because she knows she's got junk in trunk.
Me: *stares*
Boyfriend: It's full of eggs...

So does it turn into noodle-spawn?

Boyfriend: I can't even eat something that's TOUCHED cold noodles! It's noodle-tainted!