I'm not sure which of us he isn't listening to, me or himself...

Me: I love you.
Boyfriend: I love you too, mean lady.
Me: ... Why are you so mean to me?
Boyfriend: You are what you eat.
Me: ....
Boyfriend's brother: .......
Me: ....... WHUT?
Boyfriend: Think about it!
Me: No! My brain just gave up. That statement made NO sense.
Boyfriend: You will.
Me: ......... I'm not talking to you anymore.