It's like I WANT to see that porno, but at the same time...

Me: I don't know where I was going with that sentence... "I don't you"
Boyfriend: You don't love me?!
Me: ... What?
Boyfriend: "I don't you," you don't love me!
Me: ... Sure.
Boyfriend: Aaaaaaw... now I'm gonna have to shove tiny cucumbers up your nose... and then every time you sneeze you can yell 'Pickle Tornado!'
Me: ... *stare*
Boyfriend: I heard someone yell that in a porno once.