I knew what he meant...

Me: *at the end of the KH3D trailer* It says March 2012! It's April!
Boyfriend's brother: It's March in Japan... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
Me: That's a HELL of a time difference.
Boyfriend: That international dateline is a BITCH!

Preach it honey...

Boyfriend: Because cheese is the food of the gods... madgods.

It's true though...

Boyfriend: *playing The Sims 3* You're BABIES! You don't have PERSONALITIES! Yuor personalities are POOP and SLEEP!

But... he says shit like that even WITHOUT the Nintendo...

Boyfriend: I love how old Nintendo games make you sound crazy, cause I'm like, "Aaaah! Fuck! Invisible birds in the sky!"

Sadly, not.

Me: I think the next time I play through, I'm gonna play through as an elf.
Boyfriend: I think the next time I play through, I'm gonna play through as YOUR MOM!
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: Oh wait, there's no option to play through as an ogre.

Thank you Dragon Age...

Me: NUG CRUSHER!!!
Boyfriend: Nug crusher?
Me: It crushes nugs.

She's the REAL archdemon...

Boyfriend: What bothers me the most about the radial menu is your mother's a whore.

Dragon Age presets... why?

Boyfriend: I'm going to sit here and stare at you... because MY mustache is MUCH finer than yours... and you KNOW it... deep in your heart.

There ARE better ways to take care of that, you know...

Boyfriend: If it was just a matter of sterility and not cancer, I'd sleep with a radioactive video game nestled between my legs.
Friend: 'Hey, why ya walking funny?' 'Oh, I'm using a super famicom cartridge as a manpon.'

I'm not even sure what that means....

Boyfriend: I hate hate hate hate HATE that game!
Me: Tell us how you really feel, Kefka.
Boyfriend: SCWOON!

It's not just him...

Me: *failing an escort mission in DW: Gundam 3* GodDAMN it Uso! You spent your WHOLE life being told, "Don't jump in a field full of LASERS, lasers are BAD!" And what do you do? The second, the VERY SECOND you get the chance, you run STRAIGHT for the fucking lasers, to discover their delicious secrets!

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

Boyfriend: I stick things I don't like in George.

Huh?

Boyfriend: How about Soya Saga? It's the story of the battle for the search of the best soy sauce.
Me: ... It's... the battle for the SEARCH for the best soy sauce, not the soy sauce itself?
Boyfriend: Yeah.

That's certainly one interpretation of it, yes...

Me: *got a new title in Dragon Quest 9* Hooray, I'm a Supreme Spelunker!
Boyfriend: Is that your thief's achievement for getting all the poo?

Well I guess they have to check for loot EVERYWHERE...

Me: *talking about Dragon Quest 9* My thief keeps sticking her hands in the enemies' butts!
Boyfriend: They do that.
Me: Well she steals horse manure off the horses, and webbing off the spiders.
Boyfriend: Clearly your thief is into anal fisting.

Little known historical fact

Me: *playing FFVI* Yep, apparently she's wearing a bikini, paldroons, a cape and boots.
Boyfriend: As many people wore to war. King Arthur himself perfected the outfit, formally known as the 'War WTF'.

My mother is not a video game character...

Me: *reading Flailthroughs* That's a guy in a hippo suit...
Boyfriend: What? Your mom's where?

Truly wise words for our time

Boyfriend's brother: When a monkey offers you a soda, do not accept, Confucius say.

Truly words of video game wisdom

Boyfriend: Spinning in circles is the answer to most of life's questions.

Apparently ducks make bunnies fertile?

Me: *playing FF6* Apparently these bunnies are full of potions... but I guess that makes sense, since you can hide ANYTHING in all that lettuce.
Boyfriend: Yeah, really the only thing you can do with a bunny is check to make sure you aren't pregnant.
Me: ... YOU aren't pregnant? Why would YOU be pregnant?
Boyfriend: Ducks.
Me: ... Ducks in general?
Boyfriend: And in specific.