On People Who Don't Want To Handle Live Lobsters

Boyfriend: Dude, get over it. All of your food has been alive. Even your Cheetos. Especially your Cheetos.

Overheard from AngeliqueDaemon on her way home:

Girlfriend: There's nothing to do in an airport bar.
Boyfriend: Nothing you'd want to do, anyway. All you can really do is pick up Airport Bar Skanks, which are the lowest form of Bar Skanks besides your mom.

I DON'T think that's how it works..

Me: *looking at teeth in a little mirror*
Boyfriend: Don't worry, it'll fall out soon.
Me: *confused blink*
Boyfriend: Your tongue.
Me: O_O
Boyfriend: Then you'll grow your ADULT tongue! ^^

He... does?

Boyfriend: Bitch please! I make my own horsey noises!

I disagree...

Me: That's not technically cursive.
Boyfriend: Your letters are connected! That means they're FANCY!

I don't think they bleat...

Me: I'm hungry... but I'm lazy...
Boyfriend: Quick! Start bleating like an elk! Maybe one will come feed you!
Me: ... WHAT?!

... What?

Boyfriend's brother: Fuck you and your fancy koala money.
Boyfriend: I LIKE fancy koala money, because it's plastic!
Boyfriend's brother: Well that IS fancy.
Boyfriend's father: You gotta watch koala's, because they have poisonous barbs on the ends of their tails.