Saturday, April 30, 2011

Mangnish Weekends - I shouldn't have to translate any of that, really...

Me: Donde esta mi pene?
Boyfriend: No es pene! Es una burro!
Me: ... I think I would have noticed that, you know.

Friday, April 29, 2011

No, no he doesn't...

Me: *look up* Babe, I has a dumb.
Boyfriend: *looks over at me* Yes.
Me: ............ You don't LISTEN to yourself, DO you?

Thursday, April 28, 2011

I don't know what those have to do with each other...

Boyfriend: Ok, here's what I'm thinking... ow.
Me: That's what you're always thinking.
Boyfriend: No, I mean, I was thinking... winter solstice, dairy farmers, and Mesapotamia.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

So... is that part of the B vitamin family?

Me: Aaaaw... I feel older than my friends that are older than me!
Boyfriend: It's good for you! It has rage-oflavin!

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Sometimes I'm a lot of pun

Boyfriend: *babbling about hard drive size*
Me: Ow! My gigs! They hurt!
Boyfriend: ... That's AWFUL, love.

Monday, April 25, 2011

It all comes back to my mother apparently

Boyfriend's brother: Potatoes are like green beans.
Me: ... In that... they're both full of chlorophyll?
Boyfriend: What? Who's full of chlorophyll? Your mom?

Friday, April 22, 2011

Little known historical fact

Me: *playing FFVI* Yep, apparently she's wearing a bikini, paldroons, a cape and boots.
Boyfriend: As many people wore to war. King Arthur himself perfected the outfit, formally known as the 'War WTF'.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Sometimes I think he does...

Me: You almost tore out my eyes!
Boyfriend: Because I love you!
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: Because if you were blind, I'd learn sign language!
Me: ... Because... you hate me?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Because dieing turns you into a cow, well-known fact

Me: Well that was stupid,
Boyfriend: What?
Me: I just walked by you with a knife sticking out in your direction.
Boyfriend: Aw, that's ok. If you accidentally stab me and murder me, I'll haunt you. I'll float around you going, "Mooooooooooooo!"

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Friday, April 15, 2011

It's udder cream flavored!

Boyfriend: Where's your... face... seasoning.
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: You know, you rub it on your face...
Me: Lotion?
Boyfriend: Lotion, face seasoning, same thing.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

That would NOT be a taste sensation

Me: Would it make you feel better if I made hummus tonight?
Boyfriend: Better yet! We can make hummus, strawberry, apple pie!
Me: ... Go to your room.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Mangnish Weekends - It's not just him

Me: Mi pene is muy grande, y fuerte!
Boyfriend: ... Wait... did you just say that your penis is big and strong?
Me: Yes.
Boyfriend: Love... You don't HAVE a penis.
Me: It's a metaphorical penis, you know, like the penis of my heart.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Mangnish Weekends - I've really never said that.

Boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say that, "Porque cuesto es corozon," thing.
Me: ... I have NEVER said "Why hill is heart"!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I would have thought it would have the opposite effect...

Me: I'mma glomp you! *glomps boyfriend*
Boyfriend: Oh my god! I was completely surprised, and turned into a flock of tiny ducklings!
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: That's a side effect of glomping you know... turning into a flock of tiny ducklings. Also erectile dysfunction.
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: But that's a side effect of everything these days.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I really don't think so...

Boyfriend: Sometimes in nature a cat has to shed its head, and it turns into a beautiful... something freaky without a head.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Mangnish Weekends - I know it's not TECHNICALLY Spanish, but...

Boyfriend: As a wise man once said, "Your mother resembles a stuffed cow." Or as they say in Spanish, "Your mother resembles a stuffed cow, o."

Friday, April 1, 2011

um... I guess?

Me: You have to get the entirely wrong lyrics right.
Boyfriend: Yes, because if you get the wrong wrong and not right then you turn into a dangling participle.