THE PUNS!!!!!!!

Boyfriend: *singing* When the eel hits you in the face, and bites all over the place, that's a moray~

CHEESE FOR EVERYONE!!!

Me: *doing a Thieves' Guild quest* Take all the valuable items? WHY AREN'T YOU POINTING AT THE CHEESE?!
Boyfriend: *laughs* It's udderly gold!
Me: ... I hate you...

Sometimes I miss the puns... and it makes me even madder when I get them...

Me: *typoing* Ha. Dance of the 'seve' hams.
Boyfriend: Those would be the wholiest of hams.
Me: .... How are they holy?
Boyfriend: They're seives.
Me: >.<

Ooooh, the puns...

Boyfriend: *watching TV* You can use the rule of thumb to determine how thick the wall is? What, if your thumb fits in the hole, you can shove in the TNT? And beat your wife with it? So, you guys want to beat your wives with TNT. Well you can bet it's be an explosive breakup. I mean, if that happened, they'd NEVER get back together again... but hey, at least it'd end with a bang!

Ooooh, the puns...

Me: *playing Minecraft* I hear sheep... What the hell are sheep doing underground?
Boyfriend: I dunno, maybe they're deep sheep.
Boyfriend's brother: Related to Deep Crows, but more sheepy... sheepish...

I hate him sometimes...

Me: I like a good rye bread sammich sometimes, but I don't like for like, peanut butter, you know?
Boyfriend: I like a good rye sense of humor.
Me: *hate glare*
Boyfriend: This bread is HILARIOUS.

Oh the puns...

Boyfriend: *talking about Disgaea 3* Apparently the plants don't want more expensive stuff.
Me: Yeah well, they're broke, I mean, money doesn't grow on trees,you know?
Boyfriend: That IS the root of the problem.
Me: This conversation hurts me!

I hate his puns...

Me: *playing with a paper fan* ... I don't do coy very well...
Boyfriend: Of course not, you're not a fish.

My life is full of bad puns

Me: Mynah birds would be more distracting.
Boyfriend's brother: With little helmets and pick axes?
Me: ... Yes, absolutely.

Bass = musical instrument AND a fish

Boyfriend: Ah, the Ace of Bass... it's alright, but I prefer the Ace of Haddock... the Four of Smelt...
Me: Shut up.
Boyfriend: The Queen of Cod!

Sometimes I'm a lot of pun

Boyfriend: *babbling about hard drive size*
Me: Ow! My gigs! They hurt!
Boyfriend: ... That's AWFUL, love.

Oh the puns... the horrible, horrible puns

Me: They were shallots.
Boyfriend: Ah yes, half onion, half spider.
Me: .... *stare*
Boyfriend: You know that book... Shallot's Web.

I don't think he likes my mother...

Boyfriend: I think it's funny because your mom's face resembles the ass end of a donkey... Which is even funnier, since BOTH ends of a donkey are the ass end!

They're trying to kill me with the puns...

Boyfriend's brother: What's the problem with the hot glue gun?
Boyfriend: It doesn't get hot enough quick enough... like a Spaniard.
Boyfriend's brother: I dunno, I've never tried to heat a Spaniard.
Boyfriend: Well you have to start out small, so you'd need a cocker Spaniard.

You'd think I beat him, or something...

Boyfriend: I had a pimple in my mouth!
Me: Are you sure it wasn't herpes?
Boyfriend: ... yes.
Me: Good, because then I'd want to now where the FUCK you got it.
Boyfriend: Me too, since I'm not even going bald.
Me: ... What?
Boyfriend: *grins* Hair piece!
Me: .... >.< *GLARE*
Boyfriend: OW!!! You're trying to kill me with your mind! OW!!!!!!

It's just a little late, it's still god, it's still good!

I meant to post this last Monday, but... well I forgot, so sue me. It's still funny though.

~~~~~

Me: What'cha doing?
Boyfriend: Resizing pokemon images. I'd only done up to week four, but since tomorrow starts week five, now it's an issue.
Me: *ironically* Hahahahahah, I see what you did thar!
Boyfriend: ... o.o I... DIDN'T do anything there...
Me: ... >.> It sounded like you did...

Mangnish Weekends - Oh the puns...

Boyfriend: Son pantelones del burro!
Me: So... 'They are pants of the donkey'?
Boyfriend: Exactly! They're pants that make you look like you have a nice ass!
Me: >.< *glare*
Boyfriend: Ow!

Fun with homonyms!

In case you're wonder, awful -> offal. Offal - the parts of a butchered animal removed in dressing; viscera.

~~~~~~

Me: I'm gonna do something awful to you.
Boyfriend: What?
Me: I don't know yet... but it will probably involve guts.
Boyfriend: *blank stare*
Me: ... badoom tchsh!
Boyfriend: *blank stare*
Me: You know what, fuck you, I'm funny.

So very VERY punny

Boyfriend: *pokes with a DS stylus*
Me: Oh my god! I explode in a shower of kumquats and whipped cream!
Boyfriend: You've been stylized!
Me: ... *glare*
Boyfriend: Ow!