Don't we all?

Boyfriend: I like my coffee, like I like my cats... full of cream and pressed through a fine sieve.

Don't forget piscine cats...

TV: I was chasing a feline cat.
Me: Yes, a FELINE cat, as opposed to a canine cat.
Boyfriend: Yes, you have to be specific, or else soon there'll be weasel cats, and badger cats, and airplane cats... and that's just not good for anybody.

Mangninsh Weekends - No... no one says that...

Me: *petting the cat* Cat bothering... or as they say in Spanish, "Molestando la gata."
Boyfriend: Or as they say in Mexican, not Spanish, "El gato con sofa!"

Because she's a cat?

Boyfriend: Mona, how are you so adorable sometimes when you're just a fat sack of pudding-covered fur?

No... no they really don't...

Boyfriend: You know, in poor third world countries, hundreds of kitten miners die every year to bring you that cat hair.

I'm pretty sure she doesn't...

Boyfriend: The fish crawl into my brainwaves.
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: It's true... They get in through my butt... Kohime-chan puts them there.

I really don't think they are...

Boyfriend: I was just telling Mona about how most cats are secretly Asian people.

Shitbox is one of my cats... We didn't name him...

Boyfriend: *reading a website* Kitten in gravy.
Me: I don't think you should serve a kitten in gravy.... *thinks* WE COULD COAT SHITBOX IN GRAVY! THEN HE'LL ACTUALLY GROOM HIMSELF!!!
Boyfriend: I dunno...
Me: Or at least the OTHER cats would groom him, and that works too.
Boyfriend's brother: *dies*

Mangnish Weekends

Boyfriend: El gato es inflado!
Me: Yes baby, the cat is inflated.

I really don't think so...

Boyfriend: Sometimes in nature a cat has to shed its head, and it turns into a beautiful... something freaky without a head.

Truly these are words to live by

Boyfriend: If you ever meet a cat that doesn't give at least one whurr with every purr, then it's not a cat at all, but a badger in disguise.

I don't think that would work...

Me: I need a writing stick.
Boyfriend: Quick! Use the cat!

Mangnish Weekends - You know, considering that she IS a cat, that kinda works...

Boyfriend: Mona es la conquistedor de leche!
Me: Yes, 'Mona is the conqueror of milk.'

... Are they monkey cats?

Boyfriend: The cats... they have no bananas.

Mangnish Weekends

Boyfriend: Well as a wise man once said, "El gato es mi espouso."
Me: Do you want to know what you said?
Boyfriend: Sure! Something about the cat?
Me: Apparently your wise man was not only wise, but a gay beastophile, because he said "The cat is my husband".

The cat woulnd't understand you even if this DID make sense!

Boyfriend: Mona! Don't act like some kind of cat that's not a cat, but a marmoset.

It's not all kittens and rainbows and cephalopods, you know

First of all, I'm feeling better, which means I shall now become verbose. My apologies in advance.

Now as we all know, there are no perfect relationships, unless one or both parties are robots with no soul. So needless to say, there are many, many things he does to annoy me, and vice versa. So in tribute to that fact, here are some things he says when I do something he considers mean.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boyfriend: And that's why I rub the cat's vagina on you while you sleep.

Boyfriend: I put squids in your butt while you sleep...
Me: *eyes narrow*
Boyfriend: ... You know... because you always said you wanted tentacles...