Boyfriend: Well if it's that he's overslept, then I'm gonna need a duck, and two cubic feet of twine. That way I can reverse time.
Me: ........... How?
Boyfriend: I'm not entirely sure yet, but I'm pretty sure centrifugal force will come into play, and possible the Bernulli principle... or whatever it's called. Maybe it's the Cockern principle, in which case I'll accidentally invent the warp drive...I'm pretty sure that's the secret to faster than light travel, spinning ducks. They did try the same theory atone point with a couple swans and scotch tape, but that just created a black hole... a small one. That's how, you know, Santa Clause got his beard.