Does that make me Ansem?

Me: It's dark out! I don't need a hat!
Boyfriend's brother: The DARKNESS is your hat!

It's.... true...?

Me: *talking about a Lolth papercraft* She looks so PLEASED too.
Boyfriend: It's because she knows she's got junk in trunk.
Me: *stares*
Boyfriend: It's full of eggs...

So does it turn into noodle-spawn?

Boyfriend: I can't even eat something that's TOUCHED cold noodles! It's noodle-tainted!

That's NOT what that means!

Me: Polynomial!
Boyfriend: That's a gnome that goes either way.

He never did, mind you

Me: When did we get old, baby?
Boyfriend: We're not old, we're just frugal.
Me: .... What? That doesn't... Explain what that even means!
Boyfriend: ...
Me: You can't, can you?
Boyfriend: I can! Just... give me a minute...

I knew what he meant...

Me: *at the end of the KH3D trailer* It says March 2012! It's April!
Boyfriend's brother: It's March in Japan... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!
Me: That's a HELL of a time difference.
Boyfriend: That international dateline is a BITCH!

This... doesn't really follow, does it?

Me: Why do you have to destroy my dreams!?
Boyfriend: Because I destroyed the coconut's dreams... of being a horse.

I don't know what he is anymore...

Me: *to bf's brother* You're a scholar and a gentleman.
Boyfriend: I'm a squid and a jungle gym!
Me: You sure are...

Wait a minute...

Me: Does my hair look stupid? *shows off short, braided pigtails*
Boyfriend: You look SO German right now... like you should be walking through the Alps, holding mugs of hot chocolate.
Me: ... That's Swiss.
Boyfriend: Whatever, Germans have chocolate too.
Me: ... The Alps aren't even IN Germany!
Boyfriend: Well they WOULD have been, if Germany had won the war...