I love Skyrim...

Video game: Huh? Who's there?
Boyfriend: Hi, my name's Dovah... Dovah Kiin. I'm new to the neighborhood. I just thought I'd stop by and SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!

Um... When is that, exactly?

Boyfriend: Every now and then, you just have to give into temptation, and attempt to ride an elk.

Because she's a cat?

Boyfriend: Mona, how are you so adorable sometimes when you're just a fat sack of pudding-covered fur?

Is that like the dance of the seven hams?

Boyfriend: I don't want to do some weird arcane dance ritual of candy corn.

Oh D&D... the fun things that happen...

Boyfriend: I killed a guy by gluing a black bear to him.

It's true

Me: Shut up, I'm tired.
Boyfriend: Your mom's a tire.
Me: Heh, yeah.
Boyfriend: She's been around and around and around and around and around.

It's not just him

Boyfriend's brother: Damn theoretical kids! Get off my imaginary lawn!