Brought to you by Mother's Day... she is tan though... like old, beat up leather...

Me: *crocheting* THIS BLANKET IS MY WHITE WHAAAAAAAALE! ... So it's my mom.
Boyfriend: That's a BLINDINGLY white whale then.
Me: She's more tan than me.
Boyfriend: I dunno, I thought she was pale and translucent... like a grub.
Me: I thought she was a leather sofa.
Boyfriend: She is... she's a leather sofa made of grubs... grub leather. It's a small market.