Me: I'm so dastardly.
Boyfriend: You are.
Me: But I don't have the mustache for it.
Boyfriend: Well, we can just get you a top hat, it's the same effect.
Me: Oh WAIT! I DO have a mustache, apparently, it's just not the right kind. *glare*
Boyfriend: We'll get you some mustache wax.
Me: ... You don't LISTEN to yourself, do you?
Boyfriend: I don't listen to ANYONE, why the hell would I listen to MYSELF, especially when I KNOW I'm full of shit... Besides, I'd just end up accidentally insulting myself.