The sun and bile have a lot in commin

Boyfriend: I think they tried to make it look like the sun, but instead it just looked like pressed bile.

I actually meant that his mom was a creeper...

Me: *looking at Soul Sand* Yeah you're right, it has little creeper faces in it... like your mom.
Boyfriend: More like YOUR mom's vagina! They're wandering around in there going 'We can't do any more damage than has already been done! It's ALL bedrock in here.'

Ooooh, the puns...

Me: *playing Minecraft* I hear sheep... What the hell are sheep doing underground?
Boyfriend: I dunno, maybe they're deep sheep.
Boyfriend's brother: Related to Deep Crows, but more sheepy... sheepish...

He's not even trying anymore...

Boyfriend: *gives me a cookie*
Me: *teasing* You're trying to make me fat so no one will want me.
Boyfriend: Don't be silly, love, you're already fat.

I didn't want to know that...

Boyfriend: I shat so fast, it shattered the space-time continuum... in my pants.

I think chlamydia would work for that too...

Boyfriend: I dunno, I kinda like the idea of bursting in somewhere, penises blazing... you'd have to have gonorrhea though...

It's true

Boyfriend: Your mom is made entirely out of cellulite and syphilis.
Me: Syphullite!
Boyfriend: I was about to say the same thing.