Some people shouldn't use imagery

Me: *making a shopping list* Oh they have cat fish nuggets on sale, but since the grease made you ill, we should skip them.
Boyfriend: o.o No, no, I'm FINE with that, get them!
Me: ... But the grease made you SICK!.
Boyfriend: Yes, they made my stomach hurt, but later, I pooped a tornado.
Me: o.o ...
Boyfriend: In a swirl... houses falling down...
Me: ... Stop talking.

Why not a jackalope?

Boyfriend: More and more in life, I'm wondering if I'm turning into some kind of deer... or elk.
Me: ... Why is that?
Boyfriend: Because I'll be doing something, and then hear or noise or something, and I'll stop what I'm doing, peer around for a couple moments, and then go back to what I'm doing.
Me: ... That's more a mere cat thing.
Boyfriend: Can't I be a mere cat with antlers? I mean, I really just want the antlers... A merealope! I can be a merealope!

Apparently ducks make bunnies fertile?

Me: *playing FF6* Apparently these bunnies are full of potions... but I guess that makes sense, since you can hide ANYTHING in all that lettuce.
Boyfriend: Yeah, really the only thing you can do with a bunny is check to make sure you aren't pregnant.
Me: ... YOU aren't pregnant? Why would YOU be pregnant?
Boyfriend: Ducks.
Me: ... Ducks in general?
Boyfriend: And in specific.

That's some pretty accurate math though...

Some cop show: Mental problems PLUS alcohol...
Boyfriend: Mental problems plus alcohol equals family reunion.

Mangnish Weekends

Boyfriend: Es una favora a mi burro.
Me: You know you said, 'Is a favor to my donkey,' right?
Boyfriend: Yes.
Me: Ok.

Mangnish Weekends

Boyfriend: Los hermanos de la queso rapido!
Me: Alright, what you said was, "The brothers of the rapid cheese," but specifically you said, "The brothers of the (female) fast (male) cheese," which is male.

Sad but true...

Boyfriend's brother: *talking about a toy* It's got weird issues, and it's loose like happens when you use a mold too many times...
Boyfriend: *looks at me brightly* Like your mom!