It's true though...

Me: He doesn't think before he speaks.
Boyfriend: I try not to, because then it takes longer to talk.

Do NOT try this one at home, kids, he's crazy.

Me: My foot's still swollen...
Boyfriend: So you wanna try that bloodletting now?
Me: *stare* NO! Let's not, and never say that we did.
Boyfriend: Oh, we'll do it the sane way...
Me: If you say "with leeches" I'll hit you.
Boyfriend: No, you heat up an exacto knife on the stove, and then let it cool down, and wash the area in alcohol, then just stab it with the knife!
Me: Alright, but let's do it on YOU first.
Boyfriend: Nah, my feet are sensitive.
Me: My foot has been swollen for a WEEK and it all hurts just to TOUCH! What do you think my foot is?
Boyfriend: Big?

It's true, he is...

Boyfriend: I'm significantly less Norwegian than I used to be.

Mangnish Weekends - Apparently he says his penis is made of cheese...

Boyfriend: Well as a wise man once said, "Mi pene es queso."
Me: You know, I wanna MEET these wise men you keep talking about.
Boyfriend: I said they were wise, I never said they were sane.

Mangnish Weekends - I'm pretty sure it isn't...

Boyfriend: Mi pene es hecho de jamon.
Me: So you just said, "My penis is made of ham."

Fun pokemon quotes!

Boyfriend: Goddamnit vultures attack me, not buffalo!

~~~~~

Me: You're supposed to be rare! Fuck you, and give me the flying squirrel!

Mr. Danza could not be reached for comment.

Boyfriend: Tony Danza and honey have a lot in common, they're both vomited up by bees!