He's stuck on butt holes, because butt holes stuck on him?

Me: I am not using toothpaste on my ear holes.
Boyfriend: At least it's only your ears.
Boyfriend's brother: As opposed to what?
Boyfriend: Using it instead of hemorrhoid cream.
Me: No!
Boyfriend: MINTY FRESH BUTT HOLE!

Why is he obsessed with things in people's butts?

Boyfriend: I'm gonna shower.
Me: Mm hm
Boyfriend: In your butt.
Me: No.
Boyfriend: But it's like that old saying! "Butt showers bring what the hell are you doing?"

Can't what...?

Boyfriend: I can't anymore... not even with the penis fish...

Worst. Warhead. EVER!

Me: Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, my warhead punishes all.
Boyfriend: My warhead poops on cows.

Dragon Age presets... why?

Boyfriend: I'm going to sit here and stare at you... because MY mustache is MUCH finer than yours... and you KNOW it... deep in your heart.

Who wouldn't be?

Boyfriend: You were startled by the old duck man.

I don't know either

Boyfriend: I guess that's for when you wanna call a duck, slather it in mayonnaise, and then shave it.