God I hope not!

Boyfriend: Sometimes I'm worried that my butt is developing a mind of its own, and it's going to outsmart me...

It's true...

Boyfriend: Eye squids.
Me: No squids in my eyes.
Boyfriend: No, no, they wouldn't live in your eyes, they just have eyes on their tentacles instead of suction cups.
Me: ... So they'd be voyeur squids?
Boyfriend: They'd be the natural symbiote of the exhibitionist panda.

Nah, because then she'd give Pharaohs their powers...

Boyfriend: See, when they're talking about the Egyptian God Horus, that's really a mistranslation, what they mean is... your mom.

Uterus hat?

Me: I can't tell if it's localized cramps, or just general lower abdomen cramps.
Boyfriend: Aaw, I'm sorry.
Me: It's not your fault.
Boyfriend: It COULD be.
Me: ... Are YOU restricting blood flow to my lower intestines?
Boyfriend: I COULD be.
Me: .... So... you're... my uterus?
Boyfriend: Maybe... I wear a lot of hats.

I hate him sometimes...

Me: I like a good rye bread sammich sometimes, but I don't like for like, peanut butter, you know?
Boyfriend: I like a good rye sense of humor.
Me: *hate glare*
Boyfriend: This bread is HILARIOUS.

Mangnish Weekend - That doesn't really help...

Boyfriend: Muy gusta. *sees my pained look* What?
Me: I'm trying to think of how to explain to you how that's wrong.
Boyfriend: Oh... So should I have said, "Muy gusta con carne"?

Sometimes I'm crazy too...

Me: Oh no, puddi bandits!
Boyfriend: Of the Serengeti?
Me: Yeah... they lay in wait for passing caravans, and then when they see a ripe target, full of puddi, they strike. With a blood-curdling cry, they charge on their heavily armored war-camels, and strike like lightening, robbing everyone of their puddi, before escaping in the blink of an eye, leaving only a dust trail in their wake.