Mangnish Weekends - I shouldn't have to translate any of that, really...

Me: Donde esta mi pene?
Boyfriend: No es pene! Es una burro!
Me: ... I think I would have noticed that, you know.

No, no he doesn't...

Me: *look up* Babe, I has a dumb.
Boyfriend: *looks over at me* Yes.
Me: ............ You don't LISTEN to yourself, DO you?

I don't know what those have to do with each other...

Boyfriend: Ok, here's what I'm thinking... ow.
Me: That's what you're always thinking.
Boyfriend: No, I mean, I was thinking... winter solstice, dairy farmers, and Mesapotamia.

So... is that part of the B vitamin family?

Me: Aaaaw... I feel older than my friends that are older than me!
Boyfriend: It's good for you! It has rage-oflavin!

Sometimes I'm a lot of pun

Boyfriend: *babbling about hard drive size*
Me: Ow! My gigs! They hurt!
Boyfriend: ... That's AWFUL, love.

It all comes back to my mother apparently

Boyfriend's brother: Potatoes are like green beans.
Me: ... In that... they're both full of chlorophyll?
Boyfriend: What? Who's full of chlorophyll? Your mom?

Little known historical fact

Me: *playing FFVI* Yep, apparently she's wearing a bikini, paldroons, a cape and boots.
Boyfriend: As many people wore to war. King Arthur himself perfected the outfit, formally known as the 'War WTF'.

Why would you even WANT that flavor?

Me: Eat your yogurt.
Boyfriend: But it's not lobster-gator flavored!

Sometimes I think he does...

Me: You almost tore out my eyes!
Boyfriend: Because I love you!
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: Because if you were blind, I'd learn sign language!
Me: ... Because... you hate me?

Because dieing turns you into a cow, well-known fact

Me: Well that was stupid,
Boyfriend: What?
Me: I just walked by you with a knife sticking out in your direction.
Boyfriend: Aw, that's ok. If you accidentally stab me and murder me, I'll haunt you. I'll float around you going, "Mooooooooooooo!"

Mangnish Weekends - He gets stuck on words, sometimes

Boyfriend: Yo cuando un ipo!
Me: You know you just said, "I when a hiccup," right?

Mangnish Weekends

Boyfriend: Yo soy un ipo!
Me: ... You're a hiccup?

It's udder cream flavored!

Boyfriend: Where's your... face... seasoning.
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: You know, you rub it on your face...
Me: Lotion?
Boyfriend: Lotion, face seasoning, same thing.

My mother is not a video game character...

Me: *reading Flailthroughs* That's a guy in a hippo suit...
Boyfriend: What? Your mom's where?

That would NOT be a taste sensation

Me: Would it make you feel better if I made hummus tonight?
Boyfriend: Better yet! We can make hummus, strawberry, apple pie!
Me: ... Go to your room.

I don't think that's an actual profession...

Boyfriend: When people are worried, their eyeballs vibrate. Just ask any eyeballogist.

Mangnish Weekends - It's not just him

Me: Mi pene is muy grande, y fuerte!
Boyfriend: ... Wait... did you just say that your penis is big and strong?
Me: Yes.
Boyfriend: Love... You don't HAVE a penis.
Me: It's a metaphorical penis, you know, like the penis of my heart.

Mangnish Weekends - I've really never said that.

Boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say that, "Porque cuesto es corozon," thing.
Me: ... I have NEVER said "Why hill is heart"!

And as we all know, those are more sensitive than Earth kidneys.

Boyfriend: Oh no! He punched him in the space kidneys!

I would have thought it would have the opposite effect...

Me: I'mma glomp you! *glomps boyfriend*
Boyfriend: Oh my god! I was completely surprised, and turned into a flock of tiny ducklings!
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: That's a side effect of glomping you know... turning into a flock of tiny ducklings. Also erectile dysfunction.
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: But that's a side effect of everything these days.

I really don't think so...

Boyfriend: Sometimes in nature a cat has to shed its head, and it turns into a beautiful... something freaky without a head.

Who are these wise men?

Boyfriend: As a wise man once said, "I am credit to sandvich."

Mangnish Weekends - It's true, he doesn't...

Boyfriend: Yo no tango con guapo.
Me: ... I don't have with handsome?

Mangnish Weekends - I know it's not TECHNICALLY Spanish, but...

Boyfriend: As a wise man once said, "Your mother resembles a stuffed cow." Or as they say in Spanish, "Your mother resembles a stuffed cow, olé."

um... I guess?

Me: You have to get the entirely wrong lyrics right.
Boyfriend: Yes, because if you get the wrong wrong and not right then you turn into a dangling participle.