Mangnish Weekends - Oh the puns...

Boyfriend: Son pantelones del burro!
Me: So... 'They are pants of the donkey'?
Boyfriend: Exactly! They're pants that make you look like you have a nice ass!
Me: >.< *glare*
Boyfriend: Ow!

Mangnish Weekends

Boyfriend: Jefe es en el bano, soy gato.
Me: -.- Jeff is in the bathroom, I am cat.
Boyfriend: I meant to say 'con'.
Me: Jeff is in the bathroom, I am with cat?
Boyfriend: No, Jefe es en el bano con gato!
Me: I give up.

So THAT'S his plan!

Me: Oh good, I'm already signed in.
Boyfriend: Are you sure it's you, and not me?
Me: *points at email address* Unless this is suddenly your email...
Boyfriend: Well I AM slowly trying to take you over, and absorb you into my body until we're one being called... I dunno, the Jarl?

Fun with homonyms!

In case you're wonder, awful -> offal. Offal - the parts of a butchered animal removed in dressing; viscera.

~~~~~~

Me: I'm gonna do something awful to you.
Boyfriend: What?
Me: I don't know yet... but it will probably involve guts.
Boyfriend: *blank stare*
Me: ... badoom tchsh!
Boyfriend: *blank stare*
Me: You know what, fuck you, I'm funny.

How does that even work?

Me: Can't you just... sit there and be quiet for a while?
Boyfriend: You're trying to steal my soul!
Me: ... What?
Boyfriend: When I'm quiet, my soul tries to escape out of my eyeball. Well known fact.

I think he does it to get on my nerves...

Me: *actually saying the word as I do it* SIGH!
Boyfriend: Duck.
Me: ... *kicks him*
Boyfriend: Ow... Duck.

Um... I don't think that's what it's called...

Boyfriend: It's like that old song... Abra Kadabra, I'm Gonna Poop in Your Soul.

Obscure music AND animal references ftw!!

Boyfriend: Aw! Poor booby feet!
Me: My feet aren't birds...
Boyfriend: I am... What? I'm a bird?
Me: ... Except when you joke my honey, then you're a dog.
Boyfriend: ... *head tilt*
Me: Oh... my... God! Did I just make an Everly Brothers reference? I fucking DID!
Boyfriend: You're insane.

Mangnish Weekends - Oh the grammatical horror

Boyfriend: Que pantelones es?
Me: >.< What pants is?
Boyfriend: Should it be 'esta'?
Me: It's STILL 'What pants is?'!

Mangnish Weekends

Boyfriend: Well as a wise man once said, "El gato es mi espouso."
Me: Do you want to know what you said?
Boyfriend: Sure! Something about the cat?
Me: Apparently your wise man was not only wise, but a gay beastophile, because he said "The cat is my husband".

The cat woulnd't understand you even if this DID make sense!

Boyfriend: Mona! Don't act like some kind of cat that's not a cat, but a marmoset.

So very VERY punny

Boyfriend: *pokes with a DS stylus*
Me: Oh my god! I explode in a shower of kumquats and whipped cream!
Boyfriend: You've been stylized!
Me: ... *glare*
Boyfriend: Ow!

Some times in life... bog gremlins?

Boyfriend: I'm trying to come up with a valid reason why we both should nap... Sadly, I don't think we have any bog gremlins.
Me: O_o .... Wha...?
Boyfriend: Bog gremlins... they'll eat your nose.

Wait... what?

Boyfriend: Normally when you're mumbling, I assume you're talking about my demise.
Me: You know that REALLY makes you sound crazy and paranoid
Boyfriend: You know that really makes you sound like an aardvark.

It was a good movie though

Me: I'm waiting for Naussica to pop up.
Boyfriend: Yeah, you'll run into a lot of Naussica out at sea.

I'm also not covered in fur...

Boyfriend: Aaaw, you wipe your eyes cutely... like an albino woodchuck.
Me: *stare*
Boyfriend: Well you're paler than a regular woodchuck.

Maybe I should run his Mangnish as a weekend feature?

Boyfriend: Por cuando es el bano?
Me: .... For when is the bathroom?
Boyfriend: Well, all the time in Mexico.

More adventures in Mangnish

Boyfriend: Porque es el bano muy fuego del gato?
Me: I don't know, that could go either way. It could be "Why is the bathroom very fire of the cat?" or "Because is the bathroom very fire of the cat."

It IS a good answer though...

Boyfriend: That's a very good question, and I think the BEST possible answer is: PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS!

Yes, I'm mean, but he gets me back for it

Me: Yes, go ahead and cry about it, your tears are delicious.
Boyfriend: You make my anus sad.
Me: ... o.o Those are NOT the delicious tears.

Alright, it's him again

Boyfriend: *to the tune of Sometimes When We Touch* Sometimes when we touch, the colostomy's too much~

It's still not only him...

Boyfriend's brother: Oh yeah, deers steal pizza and then give it to bears as a protection bribe, well known fact.

It's still not only him...

Boyfriend's brother: And you still over-feed the ninjas, and they need more exercise that way.

It's not all him, you know

Me: I'm a Char... *looks over at boyfriend* It's true. You should have known when I started killing little girls.
Boyfriend: O_______________O
Me: ... You didn't hear a WORD I just said, did you?
Boyfriend: I heard "I'm going to shower... you should have known when I started killing little girls."
Me: ... Well, I'm a murder shower.

Those are very SPECIFIC powers there...

Me: I think my friend fell asleep.
Boyfriend: I'm pretty sure she did, or else she'd notice the crab clawing at her butt.
Me: o.o .....
Boyfriend: I'm using my special crab, butt-clawing powers.

And now, an evironmental observation.

Boyfriend: It's perfectly good air, there's no point in wasting it.

One of these is actually a place... no, really!

Boyfriend: Well he should just move to Zonguldak, and that'll take care of everything.
Me: Moving to Zonguldak WON'T fix all your problems.
Boyfriend: Sure it will... and then you can visit Boldlygo
Me: ... What?
Boyfriend: Zonguldak is right next door to Boldlygo, everyone knows that.

I don't really mind either

Boyfriend's brother: If you guys don't mind, I was thinking...
Boyfriend: No, that's perfectly alright. I don't mind if you think.

So very true...

Me: I don't know... Why do you people keep expecting sense out of me?!
Boyfriend: We don't expect sense out of ANYONE! That's like... hypocrisy at its finest!

Wouldn't that be uncomfortable though?

Boyfriend: Posted with a three-toed sloth sticking out of my nose on a Tuesday.

You know, that's not a bad plan, actually...

Boyfriend: I want enough money to buy an island, one that's big enough that it doesn't have to worry about tropical storms too much, and then burn everything to the ground. Once that's done, I'd have it terra-formed to whatever I wanted, and then have it stocked with only delicious, delicious animals.

Well he IS kinda tall...

Boyfriend: I wanna go to Asia, so I can feel like a giant.

You know... I'm pretty sure they don't...

Me: See? She said fishes!
Boyfriend: Yeah but she's Asian, they're weird... and I think they have magical powers.

That's very misleading, you know...

Boyfriend: This is why I stick lobsters in your vagina when you sleep... and by lobsters in your vagina, I mean cuddle you... Until you elbow me in the face.